resigning gracefully

Terminating Your Current Employment

You are leaving your current employer, and that is a hard thing. Here are some tools to use to make this a smooth transition, one with as little fallout as possible. It is important to remember that you are in control here. In essence, you are calling a meeting and it is up to you to set the agenda. You will decide what is discussed and how. You have the power!

Studies show that it is best to give notice around 4pm. Monday or Tuesday are the best days to give notice. Fridays can leave the employer with brooding time, which can be counter-productive.
You do not need to apologize or thank anyone for anything in this conversation or in the following letter. If you apologize or are overly appreciative, those things can be used to manipulate you. In order to keep that from happening, follow the script below:

Walk in to the office, say these words and as you are speaking hand them the following letter.

(insert boss' name here), I have made a commitment to join another organization and will begin working with them in (insert number) weeks. Please accept this, my letter of resignation. I would ask that you take a minute to read my letter before we discuss together how we can make my transition as smooth as possible.
The letter:

Dear (boss)

Please accept this letter as my official notice of resignation. I appreciate the work we have been able to accomplish together at (insert company), but I have now made a commitment to another organization, and I am going to begin with them in (however many) weeks.

Know that it is my intention to work diligently with you to wrap up as much as possible in the next (however many) weeks to make my resignation as smooth as possible. If you have any suggestions on how we can best accomplish that goal, I hope you will share your thoughts with me, as I am eager to leave on the most positive note possible.
Remember that your boss knows you are resigning when you walk in and hand him/her a letter. Don’t let them make you feel like you shocked them. They will try, guaranteed. They will also attempt to make you feel like they cannot make it without you, and you may start to feel guilty. Do not. Keep in mind all the reasons you are motivated to make this change. If you truly were as important to them yesterday as they will say you are after reading this letter, you would have felt the love all along.

Also…it is not important that they know where you are going. If you want to share that information, let them know you can discuss it later. Do not talk about it in this conversation. Do not discuss salary or new compensation plans or anything other than a smooth and orderly transition. At this point, none of those things matter. Your mind is made up. It is simply important that you have a smooth positive meeting and that you remain in control of the agenda of that meeting.
Say you have enjoyed working there, say you have learned a lot, but do not thank them for anything in this conversation. Remember you are equals now. At the moment you give your notice you are on an equal plateau. You are no longer an employee. You can make a smooth transition, and you want to. You can say that this has been a great experience working at (insert company)….and can say it later, but you have to control this situation and this conversation now. By thanking them you actually weaken your own position, and potentially lessen your control.
End the meeting with a position of strength. Stay in control and do not get dragged into areas of conversation that will be uncomfortable or drag out the discussion. You can strengthen your ties of friendship in the future, if you want. It is very important that you manage this interaction from start to finish.